hamster-holocaust.com

So my memory isn't very good. Awful some would say. Maybe it's the alcohol/drug/traffic accident abuse or maybe I have a giant tumour. Either way, what I'm about to lay out infront of you in a wall of text will probably be close to 75% wrong. Hi, I'm Lemmiwinks. Let me take you on a journey.

Hamster-Holocaust was a clan, Mmkay? Wikipedia defines "clan" as "...a group of people united by actual or perceived kinship and descent". I have no problems with that. I mean, it sounds a little gay, but hey, we're all a little gay. *cough* Yeah, anyway. The point of HH, or so I'm told, was to just kind of fanny around on a Gmod server and have a generally good time. This, I suppose, would be our "perceived kinship". We would build, roleplay and pose ragdolls all the live long day. It was like a Disney movie, but with mild racism... oh wait.

Myself and my ~~lover~~ friend Cal played Gmod many years ago now, back when it was in beta. Back when it was free. At this time, I was mostly concerned with our DOD:S clan, SDUK. This partnership with Coffers (not gay) along with Misery (from the same clan) and Johnson (from... like a hole somewhere) is the Hamster Holocaust you see today. Four jaded, angry, incompetent, over whelmingly self important, depressed, impoten-- wait, what was I saying? Ah yes.

Gmod first lost it's magic around the same time it first gained it's magic. I (personally) was never much of a builder. I enjoyed slapping thrusters on things, sure, but that amusement only lasts as long as it takes to type "lol". And this was like 5 years ago. When HH formed last year, I was already beyond bored of building in Gmod. At the time (or maybe a little later), that left 2 other gamemodes; Zombie Survival and Roleplay.

Zombie Survival was mine and Cal's favourite. Being 15 and male, we were naturally praying for a zombie apocalypse to come and take over our town, so we could barracade our selves in the high school library and live like Mad Max. The zombie survival gamemode was probably as close to that as we're going to get. However, Roleplay was where it was at. Back in 2005 (or whatever), i.e the golden days of Gmod (or whatever), Roleplay servers weren't the sophisticated, balanced, intuitive gamemodes you see today (yes, that was sarcasm). It was all done in your head. Buying and selling things where either done by trading crap you had/stole, or simpely just agreed that you had indeed given over a form of currency. There was no integer in the bottom corner, you just made it up. When being arrested, you gave up voluntarily and where escorted to the station. There was no period blood spilt over whether the CP was abusing his power or crying over being let free. For some reason I remember these times fondly. Even the shoddy maps, that by today's comparison look like 9/11. At this time I was 15, already older than the average age of Garry's Mod players today, and that was when the game was in beta. Now I feel like an old man surrounded by 12 years olds screaming down their mics about Gun dealers and prop blocking. This is how 'Nam vets must feel after ending up back in the real world. Yeah. I went there.

The afforementioned 12 year olds are the reason we've become pseudo-Gmod-terrorists (mingebags). It's the reason Gmod is awful. Yet, it's the only reason I continue playing. The only reason I go on a Gmod server anymore is to film the merciless, game ruining, douchebaggery we hand out to these crying 10 year olds. The thrill of smashing someones hard worked on, wooden house. Blowing up barrels in the middle of a shop and setting the entire place on fire. Verbally abusing a clearly inbred, retarded, french kid untill he has a hissy fit and leaves. I've never had more fun on the game.

Love Lemmi.